Dr. Susan Aglukark, O.C.
Awakenings, what do I mean by awakenings? I had to ask myself this same question and the answer was in understanding what the emotion was but sometimes and maybe more often than not this is the root of our struggle, we have forgotten how to be true to our emotions. We are so busy coping that our true emotions are set aside and no longer factored into our daily lives until all that is left is grief, anger, resentment, disillusionment and these emotions do not feed the soul. I had to dig deep and remember when my emotions had hidden from me and go back and find them, learn to trust them again, learn to feel them again, allow them to guide me on the days that I needed guiding, but and this is one of the areas we Aboriginal women have set aside for far too long, we need to learn to feel again and to being to trust our feelings again.
One such emotion or feeling (for me) was trust, our communities had for so long existed on a foundation of trust that when this was broken the retaking of it severed more than the bridge of honest communication but many other things, I could no longer entrust my thoughts and dreams with anyone, I could no longer voice my anger and fears and in keeping everything buried inside of me this (lack of emotion) compounded into lack of engagement, if it annoy allow my eh art to soar through its dreams and desires than what am I really dreaming for?
Many things were severed when trust was broken, we can recover enough to gain back control of our emotions, slowly but surely we can begin to believe again.
My first step in recovering my belief in myself was acknowledging that I wanted to, I wanted to stay on a path I had found myself on in the early part of my career, the more I learned about myself the more I wanted to learn about myself and my potential the less I was intimidated by my future as a singer /songwriter and so on.
Life slowly became more about the journey and less about recovering, I still harbour some anger and resentment, the ugly images will always be with me but they no longer control me, life is now the thing it should have been, the journey.
Recap: Choosing to fight for your life/dream/hearts desire is a first step from recovering to the journey, each step taken will be a step towards a stronger self and a step closer to the life you dreamed of.